*pause* to reflect on the put upon...

Here he is, so put upon and jaded, you expect him to have written volumes of bad poetry and have an intense collection of whiny emo music. It's finally that phase... God help me it's barely even begun.


This pause is brought to you by the frustration of being a Mom to the likes of a pre-teen.

Hormones, I realize, play a big part in why my son is acting like he has lost his brain and replaced it with mush. This seemingly normal phase of growing and maturing, this developmental period that assuredly affects all of us, somehow doesn't resonate with my brain when I'm talking to my kid sometimes.

You must realize there is no point in trying to have a conversation with a twelve year old (when you have opposing views), who really, should move out before he gets old and forgets that he knows everything.

So, we're talking, about his grades, one of which was pretty much failing, the rest were A's, (he has since brought it up to at least a B), and he starts to say "I don't try in school because I don't have to, and why should I have to if it's easy?" So, of course, this riles me up enough to have a conversation with him, about his future, ethics, character etc. Then he says something, and I'm just like... huh... then I realized, he doesn't know what he just said, he must not have heard himself. He said 'I have to try in Spectrum because it challenges me and makes me think, not that I have to try, because it doesn't challenge me really though.' So, he's just contradicted himself, and I repeat his words back, and ask 'wait did you just say this, and follow it up with this', and he flips out and decides I'm mean, and then starts to cry. Seriously.

There was no yelling. I was baffled really. So I really just repeated his words to him, asking if he meant to say what he said, and that's when he went all 'pre-teen' on me. We all know, that I'm evil of course, and like a total bitch, and completely unfair... but I can handle that. Tears though?

In the end, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong, and I guess I just need to get over myself. He's going through this, and I can't stop it, and I can't fix it, and I just have to be there when/if he makes it out on the other side of things alive and maybe singed, but mostly, hopefully, unscathed. I can only hope for the best, and apologize for the ego in him that I fed, and do the best that I can to be here for him.

Really though, he's totally emo and actually proud of it in a weird way, so I guess I should go buy the eyeliner and black nail polish now and get a head start on things. It might be nice to get my old Smiths CDs out and really show him how to do it right - oh wait, can't do that - because then I'll be doing it all wrong!!! Especially since he just got his very first pink polo shirt, and LOVES it, and wears it proudly with his skull watch, black jeans and studded belt.

He doesn't look so emo here.. but there is the pink shirt. He was actually very pleased.

Oh joy.